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Bela Lugosi's Dead A Dissertation on the Modern Vampire Introduction || Casting a Little Light on the Vampire That Burning Question || Closing the Coffin Lid || More... Introduction When a person hears the word vampire, immediately a plethora of images springs into his mind...Formally attired relics in silk-lined opera cloaks...Beautiful, leatherclad adonis-like fang-boys with superhuman strength and agility...Tragic heroines in diaphanous nightgowns wailing piteously as their life is pounded from them with a stake and mallet. These are the dreams made real by such talented writers as Braham Stoker, Sheridan Le Fanu, Poppy Z. Brite, and let us not forget Anne Rice. With such imagery in literature, the cinema, and role-playing games, is it any wonder that the vampire has re-emerged from the shadows and dominated the popular subculture? Certainly there have been and will always be a small spattering of fans and wanna-be's. But let's face it, never has the vampire had such popularity as anything but the feared and misunderstood supernatural monster that earlier literature and cinema showed us. Despite this newfound popularity and adoration, the vampire is still misunderstood and misrepresented. The truth is as buried now as it was in the days of Bela Lugosi. These legends, texts and films are amusing, seductive and artful, but they are only meant to entertain. Behind the fiction lies a much less seductive truth. The truth is that vampires really do exist. They are just as real as your next door neighbor, and about as impressive. You may already know one. He isn't that strange guy on the second floor who goes out at night wearing nothing but black...that is merely your normal neighborhood Goth going out to the local Scene. I don't care if he *does* have fangs. You can get those made, and cheaply, if you know where to go. Most vampires are just not that conspicuous. Casting a Little Light on the Vampire Before you get all excited and either run for the garlic and stakes or start looking for someone to bite you, let's take a little reality break. Let's look at things rationally. Vampires are neither demons to be destroyed, nor deities to be worshipped. Here are some things you might want to consider: First of all, vampires are NOT supernatural creatures. They didn't die and mystically come back as nocturnal ubermensch to some cursed half-life, despised by God and shunned by the decent. The whole idea is ludicrous. I haven't heard such rubbish since someone in my third grade class told me that "black people aren't as intelligent as whites". Speaking of the "Nocturnal Ubermensch", let us move right along to debunking any ideas you might have of the vampire's abilities to fly, shift shape, or regularly perform feats of superhuman strength, speed, or agility. The vampire is not physically superior to your everyday human. There are some subtle and less than subtle differences, but overall, there is no reason to spend your time and energy trying to find a way to become one. Since we are debunking ridiculous notions, shall we talk of the vampire's legendary weaknesses? CROSSES & HOLY WATER. God does not hate vampires. Crosses are just religious symbols and occasionally nice accessories. No self-respecting vampire is going to run screaming spitting or hissing from a cross. Holy water will not burn or even cause discomfort when touched or ingested. GARLIC. Oddly enough, garlic is usually well liked by vampires. I have never found a single vampire who wasn't partial to a well grilled bit of garlic toast. MIRRORS. Vampires are not exempt from natural laws. I know a few vampires that will check their reflection in anything from the hallway mirror to the glass in a storefront. DAYLIGHT. Here we find a tiny grain of truth. While a vampire will not burst into flame and become a nasty, greasy pile of soot when venturing out by day, regular and extended exposure to direct sunlight will induce headaches, dizziness, and will eventually lower the vampire's immune system. CAN ONLY DRINK BLOOD. Once again, we find a grain of truth in the beach of misinformation. While vampires can eat regular food and often enjoy it, their dietary needs are a bit different than the average human's. Blood is a very important part of the vampire's diet, and without it the vampire will show all of the classic signs of malnutrition...weakness, low immune system activity, lethargy, and so on. The blood does not need to be human, nor does the vampire have to kill to get it. When blood is not available, extremely rare or raw meat can tide him over for weeks. ENTERING A BUILDING WITHOUT INVITATION. Although it is usually either terribly rude or illegal, a vampire, just like his human counterparts, can walk into any building or habitation he chooses, unless the door is locked. At that point the vampire had better have either a key or a good knowledge of B&E. COFFINS/GRAVE DIRT. Most of the people that I know who own coffins are *not* vampires. I have yet to meet the vampire who even thinks he has to sleep in a box full of dirt. The very idea is nasty. Not to mention that it would leave a real mess in the shower. That Burning Question One of the questions I hear most often is the inevitable "How do I become a vampire?" Well, then, let me explain. There are only two ways of becoming a vampire. You are either born that way, or someone infects you with it. CONGENITAL VAMPIRISM Being born a vampire is neither easy nor pleasant. In this day and age, when most people who are in authority don't even acknowledge the existence of vampires and society is still relatively diurnal, being a vampire your entire life is a painful and frightening experience. Unfortunately, for some reason most vampires do not keep their offspring, but instead opt to adopt them out. Often, the congenital vampire will be confused and more than a little afraid for his sanity and health until he makes contact with others of his kind. In many cases, the vampire may end up permanently damaged, or worse yet, institutionalized by his well-meaning adoptive parents. Congenital vampires tend to show more resilience physically than their infected counterparts. They seem to be more resistant to disease, exhibit a faster recuperation from illness or injury, age more slowly and show more overall durability than either humans or their infected brethren. Conversely, the congenital vampire seems to suffer more severely from the adverse effects of prolonged sunlight exposure, has a bigger problem with photosensitivity, and has a markedly lower tolerance for the herbivorous dietary spectrum. INFECTIOUS VAMPIRISM Vampirism can be passed from one person to another by contact with their blood. If the blood of a vampire is ingested or injected, there is a good chance that the recipient will contract the condition. This is not always effective, however, as the immune system of the recipient may actually destroy whatever it is in the blood that carries the infection. Within 24 hours of becoming infected, the potential vampire will begin to suffer almost flu-like symptoms that will last for approximately a week. Nausea, low-grade fever, weakness and mild abdominal cramps are fairly common. After the initial sickness passes, the infected vampire will begin to experience gradual changes in his sleeping patterns, a gradual decline in both circulatory and respiratory activity, some mild photosensitivity, restlessness and cravings. In some cases, the infected person will show every sign of becoming permanently infected with vampirism for between one to three months, then gradually lose any and all symptoms. It seems that if the person's immune system is extremely active or they only receive a tiny amount of the infected blood that the body develops an immunity to it. Closing the Coffin Lid I do not pretend to know all there is about the history and origins or the anatomy and physiology of vampires. I myself am still learning after over twenty years of searching and researching the condition and the legends. I am limited in not having a medical degree or a lab to test some of my more technical theories. Most of what I've written is drawn from personal experience, extensive field work, and an enormous amount of time in many libraries. There is a lot more to the vampire than the limited scope of my own study, and there are more varieties of vampires than the one I have presented. It would take a better researcher than myself a lifetime to catalog the specifics and prove them all out. There are many things I have not been able to prove out to myself and have not included here because I couldn't prove them. There are a lot of people that upon reading this will not wish to believe what I have written. Whether it is just easier for these souls to believe that there is no such thing as a real, modern vampire, or if it is just that the truth as I have presented it is too unglamorous and does not fit their media-driven fantasies is irrelevant. When confronted with an unwelcome truth, people will believe what suits them. This may rupture the pretty lies and glamorous pretensions of a handful of poseurs and wanna-be's, and for that I am sorry. We all wear masks. There is nothing wrong with that if those who play and impersonate can draw the line between fantasy and a more dangerous reality. Many can. If just one person reads this and accepts the vampire for what he is, I have accomplished what I set out to do. We have come one step closer to closing the coffin lid. Bella Lugosi's dead, Childe, it's time to come out of the coffin and let him rest. For more information on the Vampire, past and present, fact or fiction.... Intervamp Vampyres Only Vampirism Research Institute >Vampire Research Resource Page >A Theory on Real Vampirism Bela Lugosi's Dead is an essay written and published by Azhrarn, 1996 © all rights reserved Sections varney Comments Help support all things net.vampyric by visiting our affiliates and sponsers!